


the wedding au nobody wanted

by kneesocks_senpai



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-10
Updated: 2016-04-10
Packaged: 2018-05-31 12:28:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6470002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kneesocks_senpai/pseuds/kneesocks_senpai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Matsu, Maki and a wedding.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the wedding au nobody wanted

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to my lovely british tea squad ♥  
> And special thanks to @sugarplumsenpai - ich weiß gar nicht, was ich ohne deine aufmunternden Worte, die wunderbaren Nachrichten und deine ganzen Korrekturen die letzten Tage, Wochen, Monate gemacht hätte! I fucking love stars ♥
> 
> tl;dr: Without @sugarplumsenpai this fic would be a mess.
> 
> Please listen to [[Say you love me - Jessie Ware]] while you're reading this fic! 

_Gosh_ _, I_ _love_ _you_ _. I_ _love_ _you_ _so_ _much_ _._  

**"Are** **you** **nervous** **?"**    
**"Nah.** **.** **.** **'s** **fine** **.** **And** **you're** **here** **with** **me** **, so** **everything** **is** **ok!"**    
   
_I_ _love_ _how_ _you_ _scratch_ _your_ _neck_ _when_ _you're_ _thinking_ _about_ _something_ _._ _I_ _love_ _how_ _the_ _tips_ _of_ _your_ _ears_ _blush_ _when_ _you_ _try_ _to_ _lie_ _._  

… 

   
**"This** **suit** **suits** **you** **!"**    
**"** **No** **bad** **jokes** **at** **the** **wedding** **day** **,** **you** **promised** **!"**    
   
_I_ _love_ _how_ _your_ _nose_ _wrinkles_ _when_ _you_ _laugh_ _. I_ _want_ _to_ _know_ _if_ _fifty_ _years_ _from_ _now_ _you'll_ _have_ _all_ _those_ _wrinkles_ _from_ _laughing_ _to_ _o_ _much_ _._ _C_ _an't_ _wait_ _to_ _see_ _it_ _._  

…   
 

**"** **And** **by** **the** **way** **,** **you** **look** **good** **yourself** **!"**    
**"** **Of** **course** **I do** **!** **Gay** **men** **dress** **well** **naturally** **! I** **haven't** **spent** **all** **that** **time in** **the** **closet** **doing** **nothing** **!"**    
**"Oh** **my** **god** **. STOP IT!"**  

_I_ _love_ _how_ _you_ _get_ _excited_ _over_ _vanilla_ _milkshakes_ _and_ _oreos_ _._ _There's_ _nobody_ _munch_ _ing_ _oreos_ _like_ _you_ _do._ _It's_ _lovely_ _!_  

…   
  
   
**"Okay, okay, I** **stop** **!** **Let's** **settle** **with** **'** **we** **both** **look** **very** **handsome** **in** **suits** **'** **.** **"**    
**"** **Thank** **you** **."**  

_Did_ _I_ _ever_ _told_ _you_ _that_   _you drool_ _in_ _your_ _sleep_ _?_ _It's_ _really_ _cute_ _so_ _please_ _don't_ _mind_ _!_  

_Oh,_ _the_ _music_ _started_ _._  

…   
 

**"** **Nervous** **now** **?"**    
**"** **Yeah** **.** **A** **little** **."**  

…   
 

**"** **Everything** **will** **be** **fine** **!"**    
**"I** **know** **...** **Thank** **you** **."**  

_I_ _wish_ _I_ _had_ _told_ _you_ _all_ _those_ _little_ _things_ _. I_ _wish_ _I wouldn't have hesitated_ _when_ _you_ _ask_ _ed_ _me_ _what_ _'_ _s_ _wrong_ _with_ _me_ _a_ _few_ _years_ _ago_ _. I_ _wish_ _I_ _had_ _the_ _courage_ _to_ _say_ _all_ _the_ _things_ _deep_ _from_ _my_ _heart_ _,_ _wish_ _I_ _wouldn't_ _be_ _a such a_ _dumb_ _ass_ _of_ _a...._  

_Ah..._ _There_ _comes_ _the_ _bride_ _._    
   
…   
 

**"** **Good** **luck** **!"**  

_I_ _simply_ _wish_ _you_ _knew_ _._  

 

* * *

 

_[_ _L_ _ater_ _at_ _the_ _reception_ _]_  

 

_You_ _look_ _so_ _good_ _in_ _your_ _suit_ _. The_ _way_ _you_ _both_ _dance_ _d_ _together_ _made_ _me_ _happy._ _You_ _surely_ _know_ _how_ _to_ _move_ _._ _I'm_ _sorry_ _for_ _not_ _being_ _there_ _the_ _whole_ _time. I_ _needed_ _some_ _time_ _alone_ _,_ _to_ _get_ _my_ _head_ _straight_ _._ _It's_ _not easy,_ _you_ _know_ _?_  

…   
 

**"** **Matsukawa** **?"** , I turn around and see her happy face. Who wouldn't be happy on a day like this, marrying a man like you. I can't help but smile. 

**"** **Thank** **you** **for** **your** **wonderful** **speech** **at** **the** **ban** **qu** **et** **! I** **knew** **you'd** **be** **the** **right** **man** **for** **this** **!"** she smiles, too.

I bow slightly, **"** **Thank** **you** **,** **it** **wasn't** **a** **thing** **,** **really** **!"**  

_What_ _else_ _could_ _I_ _say_ _? That I wanted to rip my heart out when you both said your vows?_ _That_ _I_ _wanted_ _to_ _scream_ _and_ _cry_ _and_ _shout_ _when_ _you_ _kissed_ _? Confess that all I wanted was nothing more than to be the man at your side?_ _No_ _. This_ _is_ _your_ _wedding_ _day_ _._ _You_ _both_ _should_ _be_ _happy. So I_ _smiled_ _._ _I'm_ _s_ _till_ _smiling_ _._  

…   
   
We both look at the other guests. You join them, laughing. Minutes pass. I'm counting how many times you wrinkle your nose, scratch your neck or blush again. 

… 

**"** **You** **know** **...** **I'm** **sorry,** **Ma** **tsu** **."**    
   
I lost count, stumble over my own heartbeat and look at her. 

**"** **I'm** **sorry** **for** **wanting** **you** **to** **do** **the** **speech** **. B** **ut I** **knew** **it** **meant** **so** **much** **to** **him** **.** **To** **both** **of** **you** **.** **I'm** **sorry** **that** **you** **have** **to** **s** **it** **through** **all** **of** **this** **.** **I** **should** **have** **told** **him** **to** **choose** **somebody** **else** **for** **the** **speech** **but** **you** **know** **how** **persistence** **he** **is** **.** **I** **'m** **sorry** **for** **being** **so** **selfish** **and** **wanting** **him** **to** **be** **happy** **,** **completely** **i** **gnoring** **your** **feelings** **.** **I'm** **sorry** **for** **noticing** **years** **ago** **and** **not** **saying** **a** **word** **.** **"**  

_Oh._ _She_ _knows_ _._    
   
I'm taken aback. It's like a cold that spreads through my whole body. She notices and grabs my hand. We stand like this, silenced, until my heart beat settles and my hands stop shaking. 

… 

**"Do** **you** **think** **he** **knows** **?"** Is the only thing I can say. Somewhere in the distance we hear your laughter. 

**"** **I** **'m** **not** **sure** **.** **"**    
   
… 

_I'll never ask you why you've never noticed. Why you've never noticed how I've been looking at you all these years._ _Why_ _you_ _didn't_ _fall in_ _love_ _with_ _me_ _._ _Why_ _I_ _have_ _to_ _love_ _you_ _despite_ _knowing_ _that_ _you_ _never_ _ever_ _will_ _fe_ _el_ _the_ _same_ _. But I_ _want_ _to_ _know_ _why_ _-_ _why_ _to_ _all_ _the_ _damn_ _gods_ _-_ _why_ _you_ _have_ _to_ _be_ _my_ _best_ _friend_ _?_ _!_ _That_ _makes_ _it_ _just so_ _fucking_ _frustating_ _,_ _you_ _know_ _?_ _I_ _want_ _you_ _to_ _be_ _happy but I_ _want_ _to_ _be_ _the_ _one_ _that_ _makes_ _you_ _happy, too._  

… 

**"** **I** **hope** **,** **that** **some** **day** **he'll** **look** **the** **same** **way** **at** **me** **as** **you** **look** **at** **him,"** she says.

… 

******"** **And** **I** **hope** **that,** **some** **day** **,** **you'll** **be** **happy. I** **really** **wish** **for it** **!** **Thank** **you** **,** **for** **being** **such a** **good** **friend** **for** **him, Matsu** **.** **Maki** **knows** **that** **he's** **blessed** **with** **you** **.** **"**  

I hold her hand tighter, not noticing the tears streaming down my face. 

… 

_Fuck._ _I_ _wish_ _I_ _would have_   _told_ _you_ _. I_ _wish_ _so_ _freaking_ _hard_ _._  

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry.
> 
> I really wanted to write some sad MatsuHana stuff. Bury me.


End file.
